Shakespeare And The Call of Nature
by RavensIvy
Summary: When The Doctor and Rose break into his stash of alcohol, things go astray from Rose's memory. ... The rest is history! Rated for references. Borderline M. RoseX10
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello peoples! I will give cookies to all reviewers and non-flamers!!  
So if you want to flame a story TAKE YOUR ARSE AWAY FROM MY AWESOMENESS!  
End of threat :)**

**Enjoy the story!!**

P.S. Also another note for potential flamers: Rose takes place of Martha. I know this, but I do not give a shit. xD

Chapter 1

"A horse! A horse! A kingdom for a horse!" the Doctor said, slightly slurred as he did a wild little dance around the TARDIS. A shrill giggle greeted his words and a small English voice, also slightly slurred, remarked  
"What was that one from, Doctor? Canada? Australia? I forget…" the Doctor snorted with laughter. Despite his rather drunken state, he knew his Shakespeare well.  
"Blimey Rose! It's Shakespeare! Easily one of the greatest men who ever lived on this Earth! Gosh!" Rose giggled again  
"Oh yeah…" she realised "We went to visit him when those witch thing-i-me-bobs were there!" the Doctor smiled  
"When the carrionites invaded and tried to take over, yes! See? You do remember!" he tapped the top of her head as he spoke "You just have to get it going up here!"

About an hour later, the Doctor realised he had a problem. Rose was fast asleep and snoring, none other than smack bang on top of him. This would not have been much of an issue, except that well, even the Doctor has to respond to a call of nature! Slowly and carefully, the Doctor eased himself out from underneath Rose and crept to the toilet rather quickly.

The following morning, Rose woke to a dull thudding in her head and groaned. What had she had to drink last night? And more importantly, what had she done as a result of that drink? She got up slowly and went to find the Doctor, hoping he could answer her questions. Leaving her bedroom and almost colliding with him in the corridor, she wondered if he had suddenly developed the ability to read her mind... She damn well hoped this was not the case…

"Errr… Doctor?" she began, after the pair of them had recovered from the collision.  
"Yes, Rose Tyler, what's up?" the Doctor asked cheerily, showing no signs of a hangover whatsoever.  
"Um, do you remember what we did last night? After we drank some of your emergency stash of old alcohol? …" the Doctor winked at his companion and grinned  
"Dear Rose Tyler, do you really want to know? Do you really want to know?"

**Reviews are nice.... And they are rewarded with cookies! :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Okay, I know this story and this chapter seem a little out of whack and weird but trust me, I sorta know what's gonna happen (well not really but ya know) and I am trying not to give anything away.  
THANK YOU to those fine people who reviewed!!!!! Your cookies are in the post! **

**Also a big thank you to EJ (aka Captjock here) for her help in writing this fic xD**

**Enjoy and remember, the more reviews, the faster the updates.... Review!**

Chapter 2

Rose frowned at The Doctor  
"Well….. Yes _and_ no I suppose…." The Doctor frowned back at her  
"What?" he scoffed "How in the name of Gallifrey did you figure this out?" Rose smiled nervously  
"Well, I am afraid to ask what we did last night but not knowing is worse. In other words, I kinda need to know for the sake of my sanity, so just tell me!!!" to Rose's great annoyance, the Doctor found this outburst hilarious and burst into a fit of giggles, over what she wasn't sure.  
"Is there… Something I need to know about last night, Doctor? Something that might actually affect me? Something that my mother shouldn't know about?" The Doctor laughed  
"That might be true in some aspects…Hold on 'affect you?' you can not be implying that we you-know…." Rose looked at him with a slightly confused expression  
"WHAT?! Did we?????"  
"Maybe…." He said slowly, rather unsure of what to admit.  
"You are kidding me!" Rose laughed, bending down slightly and slapping her legs. "Are you sure??" The Doctor looked on  
"Nope. I have no bloody idea" he admitted, fidgeting with his tie.

The expression on Rose's face changed several times before settling for a combination of shock and confusion  
"So you're telling me that neither of us have a clue _what_ happened last night?!" she said, slowly and seriously. The Doctor nodded slowly, his expression fading into a frown  
"Yes I believe so…" Rose blinked  
"Oh" was all she said, as she stumbled over to a chair and collapsed into it. Looking up at him, she cleared her throat and mumbled "I suppose we should probably _go get a pregnancy test then_? … On Earth." The Doctor sat down beside her  
"What's wrong with space tests?" he said indignantly. Rose glared at him  
"They are meant for _aliens_, _species other than human. _Do I _look_ like an alien to you?" she said, annoyed. The Doctor bristled,  
"Well I suppose that's true." he said, unconvinced. "But to completely avoid this argument, _why don't we just go and get a 'space test' and a 'human test'_?" Rose nodded in agreement  
"Good idea" she said. The Doctor waited for her to say something further and when she did not, he spoke again  
"Righto! I suppose we had better get organised and moving then!" he said before promptly striding over to the Tardis controls and starting to press buttons and pull levers. Still in a daze over everything, Rose did not move; instead all she said was "Okay" in a small timid voice.

The Doctor did not really take much notice of this as he was too busy evaluating the situation in his own mind and trying to organise the Tardis at the same time. At this point, he realised the reason that the males of all species did not even attempt to multitask, as well, they generally were not at all good at it!


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I owe EJ a cookie :) for her assistance with the story :) There ya go, Ejamaphone!  
****Now, you others: Please be so kind as to read this chapter (which i might like to point out is long and fluffy and awesome) and REVIEW THE AWESOMENESS! Now go, faithful pretties! Read! Read! I tell you! Read!**

**Chapter 3**

"Here we are!" the doctor announced rather cheerily as the Tardis landed with a loud ka-thunk "Where are we?" Rose asked rather groggily, still feeling the effects of the old _alcohol_. The doctor started to scoff quietly and this earnt him a sharp glare from his companion. He looked away and quietly said "London. England…. Earth. As requested." Rose got up. "So I suppose we should really go and get this test now?" she asked curiously. "I would suppose so…" he said slowly, unsure of what his reaction _should_ be at this point in time. Rose shrugged, her expression telling him to decide "Okay then" he said briskly, getting up and leading the way towards the door.

*

An hour later, after getting lost several times, they had finally reached the office of Doctor Katherine Samuels, gynaecologist. Sitting in uncomfortable silence next to the man (if you could call him that) who had been the only person around her for some time, gave Rose some time to reflect on the night everything had changed.

_Would I have actually gone that far with the Doctor that night, whenever? I mean, yes, we had alcohol, but still… Was I actually so drunk that I didn't know what I was saying or doing? And now, here I am, possibly pregnant to a Timelord aka an alien. _

_What am I getting myself into?_

Doctor Samuels' calm and gentle voice brought Rose from her thoughts suddenly and for a split second, Rose forgot where she was and what she doing there. Then she remembered and smiled weakly at the woman who was now leading them down a corridor which smelt vaguely like some deep room in the Tardis that neither of them _ever_ went into. Meanwhile, the Doctor too, was deep in thought.

_How could I do such a thing to sweet, young Rose Tyler?! My old alcohol stash was a factor in said events but would we really have ventured that far? Perhaps we were both imagining things, the test will be negative and everything will return to how it was… maybe if we're lucky that is…._

*

As Doctor Samuels began talking about the procedures and such, Rose was again distracted by what bothered her most: whether or not her and the Doctor might have actually done said things that night and created another life. Whether said possible was human or Timelord, it would be hard to tell, but Rose knew that if this new life form was anything like it's father, it would create a frenzy from all humans involved. "Miss Tyler? Are you hearing what I'm saying at all?" the sharp English accent of Doctor Samuels once again woke Rose from her thoughts.

She frowned, in a daze "Sorry, was just thinking… What were you saying?" the woman smiled patiently "Well, I was just explaining the procedures for the ultrasound scan and talking to this gentleman here about how long ago _things_ happened. Because you see, the scan will only show something if it has been six weeks or longer. Before that, the cells have not split enough times to create the fetus" Rose blinked and glanced at the Doctor for help as she has no idea how long they had taken to travel from their position that night to Earth.

The Doctor considered the unspoken question for a moment before a slight smile appeared on his face. He looked up to find both women looking at him expectantly "What?" he asked "Oh, you want me to tell you how long it's been! Righto! Well let's see…. Today being the 28th of… what month comes after July? Oh yes August! Well then, today being the 28th of August means that eight weeks and two months ago, we visited Raxi and that means that the night in question must have been…. About seven weeks ago! I do believe it was the 10th of July if that's helpful!"

Looking rather pleased with himself for figuring that out in a small space of time in the presence of humans, the Doctor promptly plonked himself into a chair with a large sigh. Doctor Samuels took several moments to react to the information he had just provided her with, before reaching into her desk drawer and retrieving a small colour coded calendar. Flipping to August, she began to count back the weeks, muttering to herself about different things that Rose and the Doctor ignored (mostly because they couldn't hear any of them anyway).

Finally, Doctor Samuels stood up and addressed the pair "By the date you have given me and the amount of time between then and now, it looks like an ultrasound scan taken today would be effective enough to give us reliable results. So, shall we start the examination as soon as the ultrasound machine is free? It shouldn't be too far away. I will leave you two alone for a few minutes and come back, ok?"

Once they were alone in the office, Rose and the Doctor were able to share their thoughts about the advice they had been offered. Rose spoke first, feeling the need to get something off her chest "Doctor" she began in a small childish voice "What are we going to do if I _am _pregnant? I mean" here she dropped her voice down to a bare whisper "It's not exactly going to be a normal child, is it? How will that work? Will it be part human, part Timelord? Or 'ave two hearts or something?" the Doctor sighed and offered Rose a hug which she accepted. "Rose Tyler. Dear, dear Rose Tyler. Whatever happens today, we will make it work. We will do what we can to give this child a human life for as long as we can. Then, when the right time comes, we can figure what to do about the possible Timelord side of him or her. Alright?" Rose nodded, collapsing slightly exhausted into the Doctor's lap.

"I'm scared, Doctor" she admitted quietly.

*


	4. Chapter 4 by Captjock

Chapter 4. By Captjock

_**OK. Hi peoples I am Captjock and I will be your writer for today's chapter. RavensIvy here has writers block and so here I am. I am sorry it is short but that is not my fault (maybe it is) . . . RavensIvy edited it so. HEHE. I have many things planned for this story of which I need to clear with RavensIvy hopefully before she is off to the states. She is lonering me. - CRIES – Ok I am hoping you will enjoy this. As you will notice RavensIvy and I have different writing techniques. I will try to write some chapters before school starts up again. Yes I know most people ignore this . . . please don't otherwise you will wonder what is up. And you probably ignored that too. ENJOY :-) Gah sorry this A/N is long. **_

* * *

Rose had never been this nervous. And there was a good reason: why . . . it was generally not good for her. She started fidgeting, her fingers nervously gripping the blue fabric of her top. And the Doctor was just sitting there calm and collected- like. But Rose knew that beneath that hot, sexy exterior was a nervous man. The minutes ticked by as slowly as ever. It was truly hell on Earth for them both. Neither dared to speak until Doctor Samuels returned. She had a chart in her hands and was busily inspecting it as she walked back into her office.

"There is a machine free in room 106." She looked up. "If you would likewish to follow me, we can get started straight away."

The pair of them Doctor and Rose got up, the. TheDoctor looking at Rose as if she could faint at any moment. She was takingbreathing in short gulps of air and the Doctor knew that doing that was a likely way to faint. He took her hand gentlygentaly in his and followed the Doctor out of the door. As they walked through the waiting room, Rose felt as if everyone in the room was watching her.

"Doctor. It feels like they're watchin' me."

"They're not Rose. I'm here. Don't worry we will deal with whatever happens."

"The _alien_ test didn't work . . . what'swhats to say that the ultrasound won't?! . I could be pregnant!" sheShe hissed.

"You might not be. Like I said we will deal with it."

"Is everything okay?" Doctor Samuels asked turning around after hearing Rose.

The Doctor flashed his most charming smile at her. "Yep! Allons-y." andAnd they continued the walk to the room.

*

"Oh that'sthats COLD!"

The Doctor smiled.

**chap fin here**


	5. Chapter 5 by Captjock

**CHAPTER 5 – BY CAPTJOCK**

**This small chapter is dedicated to Turbo. RIP little fella! (despite you being a girl)**

"I'm sorry, there is no baby. I'm sorry, were you trying or . . ."

"It's fine, and no we weren't. It is sort of a relief more than anything." piped up the Doctor.

Rose only glared at him.

"OK. Well I should wipe this off you, uh?" Doctor Samuels asked Rose.

"Yes thank you."

*

"You're not disappointed are you?"

"Why should I be?" Rose answered.

"Because . . ." The Doctor said before cutting himself off.

But deep down Rose was. She would never admit to the Doctor her feelings and he would not admit his. It was a good unspoken agreement.

She wanted to have his baby. So what if she was like only 20 and he 904 years old. It was a good match.

If only.

_Fini_


End file.
